“The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.”

So yesterday I went to church and God’s word for me took me by surprise:

“You need to believe in the impossible because God is going to make them happen in spite of your circumstances.”

I don’t really know/understand what it means yet but I’m excited just by the idea that God wants to do impossible things in my life, in and through me.

Recently God has awakened a few of my abandoned dreams and I kept finding myself thinking I’m never going to be able to achieve them – I’m socially awkward and so slow and stupid in person that I never know how to connect with people or even have a basic conversation with them, and there’s just so much WORK that I’m not sure I can do well enough because HERE’S my limit and THAT’S what people want but WHAT do I want? Is it okay to be greedy and to want to do all these things at once? – and feeling even scared to be thinking of them at all because they seem so far away and just so beyond what my natural ability is capable of and I want to tell God to give me the easy way out, even though I don’t know what that means and in some ways, THAT dream is an easy way out.

And to add to that confusion, sitting there in the middle of some village in Vietnam, I felt the presence of God so strongly that I couldn’t even stand up. That has never happened before. And as God as tugging at my heart, I was thinking and telling Him back, “I truly am happy here. I love these people, I love their hunger for You, I love their passion for You, I love how happy they are even though they have nothing, I love their simplicity and pure joy, I love all these simple people God. Why do You want me to reach out to the intellectuals? This feeling is irreplaceable, I could REALLY live here…”

And I thought, “God I really don’t understand how my calling can be for BOTH the intellectuals and simple people…help me understand how that is going to work out.”

I don’t know but maybe God just gave me an answer last night, although I think that also refers to something more specific, something more in the present.

You know what’s funny? A few months ago God told me that I’m really excited about my future but the truth is that I don’t really know what my future entails so I find it funny that God said that. Except maybe HE is excited about my future and He cannot wait to see what my reaction will be when I reach it and see all that He has planned for me. And that’s what I’m excited about. Knowing that my future is in God’s hands and that wherever I go, regardless of whether or not I achieve my dreams, even if I find myself in a place I never imagined I would be, God will be there with me.

And a life with God can only be exciting.

So I’m excited!