Archive for January, 2009

Prayer Post #3

Posted in Prayer on January 31, 2009 by Bex

Wow all of a sudden I have a million things to do! This means I also have lots lots of praying to do, and would appreciate it if you keep me in prayer too. :)

1. First event coming up is the jogathon organised by my cell group. We are a TINY cell group so there are a MILLION things to do, some of which I haven’t really figured out, but yeah it’s gonna be on Saturday and after that we have this whole volleyball hanging out thing that Pastor Rachel wants us all to be part of. Pray that everything will run smoothly, and that we will be able to raise enough funds to help the elderly at Redhill!

2. HSS canvassing on Monday and Wednesday nights! Just…I don’t want to lose my sanity. And I need to pray that I will have enough energy to pull me through the week. :)

3. Because I also have a very exciting meeting on Tuesday!! Recently my friend Tien Li asked if I would be interested to be part of this exciting event that she was organising with a couple of friends. Let’s just say it has something to do with Malaysia, and one of the burdens of my heart. So yeah, I am mega excited about it!

The story of how I met Tien Li is one of those, “OMGA, how did you do this God?” stories but I’ll try to keep it brief: we have a million mutual friends through Scripture Union camps and school, etc, I might even have stumbled upon her blog a few times before I realised who she was. So one day, one of my Nanyang Scholars seniors tells me about this girl from Malaysia who was an Econs major and switched to English Lit and I was REALLY CURIOUS to know who this person was, although I didn’t really make an effort to find out [at that time, I didn't know the "picture gallery" existed, see what you've done to my innocence Ying! :p] and then it happened that one day I stumbled upon her blog again and was looking at her old entries and realised…that she was from Malaysia and had switched majors from Econs to Lit! So I sent her a message asking her if she was the person that guy was telling me about and after talking for a while…turns out she has been sitting almost RIGHT BEHIND ME every single week for 104 lectures!! HOW COME WE NEVER TALKED TO EACH OTHER BEFORE?

Anyway, I was surprised when she asked me to be part of this event because we’re really not all that close, I’ve only talked to her a few times, went out with her once and hung out in her room once. The thing is, she’s really active in Christian Fellowship and she got me to join a few sessions of it, but I didn’t really like the way they operate and I felt bad that they had to meet later because I had a super late lecture so I stopped attending. And when she first asked me about it, I imagined that it was something she and her CF kakis have been planning, coz she mentioned something about a committee and everything. I thought maybe she wanted some extra help, so I said okay and asked her to give me more information!

She didn’t reply for a long time and then suddenly she emailed “everyone” involved about the meeting and … I realised that this was not just going to be an NTU event, but NTU-NUS-some private colleges and there are only about a handful of us as part of this “committee”!

So, wow, let me just breathe and say, “God, really??”

I don’t even know why she asked me when she must know thousands of other Malaysian Christians from NTU [we're the only two people from NTU from her committee] but wow God, what a great great HUMBLING opportunity this is. Thank You for letting me be a part of it!

4. In addition to all these, of course, Daniel has started his HARDCORE bible study with us and we have to write essays! Not just any kind of random essay but the kind that my brother-in-law writes for his MASTERS DEGREE IN SEMINARY! *faint* We have to do a whole long list of things [including checking for historical context, lexical analysis, and so on and so forth. Sorry, I'm such a bad student Daniel!] and it’s a bit overwhelming yet exciting at the same time.

I am very glad I dropped that World Cinema module otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to do all these stuff. :)

5. Starting next week, we will also be praying in church every Tuesday night. And knowing how these things go [i.e. today's meeting was supposed to be from 7.30-8pm and it started at 8pm and ended at 11pm], it will take up THE ENTIRE NIGHT. Another reason to be thankful that I dropped World Cinema: I’ll get to rest a bit more on Wednesdays.

6. So yeah, as is now obvious, I need a lot of discipline and strength and energy and VERY GOOD REST. Also, good time management [assignments are gonna be out soon! And I've been in TOTAL DENIAL about the youth magazine because I haven't had ANY time to do anything yet, but now that I've got a few things out of the way, I think I must go read the email Ps Rachel sent me..I think my first deadline is in a few days time :( ], wisdom and a super brain.

7. I also want to pray for Mercy, who is now in Hong Kong preparing for her life as a missionary in China! Just want to pray that God will be with her wherever she goes and keeps her safe and that she’ll bless everyone around her with her infectious passion for God.

8. Lastly, Barack Obama, as he assumes one of the most powerful positions in the world. Pray that he will seek God’s will in all the decisions that he makes.

Gator Superstar Gets God on Google

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on January 16, 2009 by Bex

Wow this guy is so amazing, he’s my new sporting hero hahaha.

[01.15.09] University of Florida (UF) star quarterback Tim Tebow not only guided his Gators to a national championship last Thursday evening, but also caused “John 3:16” to reach the “volcanic” reading on Google Trends, making it the No. 1 ranked search term on Google worldwide.

Skyrocketing passed Obama, Oprah, deceased gangster John Gotti and other Top 100 trendy pop culture searches, the Bible verse about God’s love written in the two bars of eye black on Tebow’s face, took the top spot across the globe.

“What a wonderful message for Timmy to proclaim through his determination, enthusiasm and play,” said former PGA golfer Wally Armstrong, who was roommates at UF with Tebow’s father, Bob, during the 1970s. “How about having [a] cloth armband made up with HWJPF? How Would Jesus Play Football?”

Christian sports enthusiasts have been buzzing with delight ever since Tebow, the 6-foot-3-inch, 235-pound son of missionary parents to the Philippines, helped UF win the national title two years ago as a freshman.

But Tebow, whose personal testimony was featured in the October issue of Charisma, naturally and routinely uses his fame to honor God.

“In today’s society, people look up to football players,” Tebow said. “For me, there are people watching, so I take the opportunity to [speak], because I may be the only Jesus that they see. I may be the only person that they’ll listen to. If I don’t take that opportunity to share with them, maybe no one will.”

Christians’ excitement over Tebow’s faith caused one local church in the UF hometown of Gainesville, Fla., to raise significant funds for missions work by selling hundreds of T-shirts inscribed with Tebow’s most popular eye black scripture, “Phil. 4:13,” which says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (NKJV).

After achieving college football’s unprecedented feat last year— being the first to win the prestigious Heisman Trophy as a sophomore —Tebow spoke to inmates at a Florida prison where a simple, but bold message he delivered compelled 95 prisoners to surrender to Christ.

A month after his visit to the prison, Tebow spoke to a crowd of 2,000 at a stadium in Starke, Fla., near Gainesville. “You have a choice to make right now,” Tebow told the crowd. “Jesus is knocking on the door of your heart, and He wants to come in, but it is a choice that you have to make.”

He added that his greatest passion in life isn’t football, but rather telling as many people as possible about a relationship with Christ. “When I get to heaven I don’t want Jesus Christ to look at me and say, ‘Timmy, you could have told all those people, but you chose not to.’”

Tebow, who appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated this week, thrilled college football fans when he announced on Sunday that he would return to UF next year, ending speculation that he would forgo his senior year to sign on with the NFL. –Paul Steven Ghiringhelli with Suzy Richardson

And this is his life story, which is also pretty amazing:

On a muggy evening in May, Tim Tebow stepped into a stadium in Starke, Florida, and was greeted by a familiar chorus of shouts and applause. The University of Florida (UF) star quarterback briefly blocked the sunlight from his eyes as he gazed into a sea of orange and blue. And then he did something unlike any feat he had ever performed on a football field—he grabbed a microphone and invited hundreds of people to commit their lives to Christ.

“You have a choice to make right now,” Tebow said. “Jesus is knocking on the door of your heart, and He wants to come in, but it is a choice that you have to make.”

And with that, he asked the crowd of more than 2,000 people to join him in a prayer for salvation. Music played quietly as people poured out of the stands—the first, a teen dressed in a cadet’s uniform. On the sidelines, a father and son knelt together with their heads bowed and baseball caps in hand as hundreds of others surrounded Tebow.

“Jesus says when you ask Him to come into your heart, you become a child of God, and I am a child of God,” Tebow said after he prayed. “That’s why I am so happy to have so many new brothers and sisters in Christ. I am so happy.”

Tebow’s ease in this ministry setting belies the fact that he is best known for his athletic ability. Last December he became the first sophomore to receive the prestigious Heisman Trophy, which recognizes the most outstanding player in college football each year. His prowess on the field—he threw for 32 touchdowns last season and ran for 895 yards and 23 scores—has earned him the nickname “Superman.” But though he has one of the most recognizable names in college sports, Tebow openly tells fans that his love of football isn’t what drives him. “My biggest passion in life isn’t football,” he told the Florida crowd. “It’s about telling as many people as I can about my relationship with Jesus Christ because when I get to heaven I don’t want Jesus Christ to look at me and say, ‘Timmy, you could have told all those people, but you chose not to.’”

Rather than basking in his prominence, Tebow seeks to use his platform as a tool for ministry. “In today’s society, people look up to football players,” Tebow says. “For me, there are people watching, so I take the opportunity to … speak because I may be the only Jesus that they see. I may be the only person that they’ll listen to. If I don’t take that opportunity to share with them, maybe no one will.”

A Pregnancy and a Prayer

Long before Tebow ever picked up a football or donned a jersey for the Florida Gators, his mom, Pam Tebow, says God seemed to have a special plan for her son. She met Bob Tebow in the late 1960s while both were students at the University of Florida in Gainesville. Pam was a freshman studying journalism when she met Bob, a sophomore, while he was publicizing an event for Campus Crusade for Christ, a college-based evangelism and discipleship organization.

Four years later, during the summer of 1971, the new graduates married. Soon afterward their family included a daughter, Christy. Pam Tebow says before she knew it there were three more children—Katie, Robby and Peter. Then in 1985, with four small children in tow, the couple moved to the Philippines to build the Bob Tebow Evangelical Association (BTEA).

Pam Tebow says the ministry saw countless conversions, and the family was adjusting to missionary life. The Tebows had lived abroad for two years when Pam and Bob began praying about adding to their family, asking specifically for a baby boy whom they would name Timothy.

“We started praying for Timmy by name,” recalls Pam Tebow, who discovered her pregnancy while she was recovering from a coma brought on by amebic dysentery, an illness caused by parasites living in contaminated drinking water. “We just felt like God had a special plan for him.”

The illness required Tebow to take a series of aggressive antibiotics that she discontinued the day she discovered her pregnancy. But because her doctors thought the antibiotics had caused irreversible damage to the newly formed fetus, they advised Tebow to “discontinue” the pregnancy. She refused, believing that God would sustain her child’s life.

“I was not about to have an abortion,” Tebow says. “They said it was just a mass of fetal tissue, but we knew better.”

Tebow continued working with the ministry and homeschooling her children, but six months into the pregnancy she began experiencing excruciating pain. She was rushed to a remote hospital, where doctors diagnosed her with placental abruption, a condition that occurs when the placenta detaches from the uterine wall. The physicians warned Tebow that her baby—who doctors believed had sustained damage early on—would never survive a second blow.

Expecting the child to be stillborn, doctors urged Tebow to reconsider abortion, telling her that she could contract a potentially fatal infection if she refused. “They believed I should have an abortion to save my life,” Tebow recalls.

She again refused the doctors’ advice and was flown to a hospital in Manila, where she was placed on 24-hour bed rest and monitored closely by a U.S.-trained physician. Two months later, she gave birth—on her due date, August 14, 1987—to a baby boy.

“He wasn’t so little,” she recalls. “He was just very skinny and had trouble eating. Today, he has certainly made up for that.”

Indeed, he has. A wrecking machine on the football field, Tebow now weighs 235 pounds and stands at 6 feet, 3 inches tall.

Growing Up Tebow

When Tebow was 3 years old, his family moved back to the U.S., where they settled on a 44-acre piece of land on the outskirts of Jacksonville, Florida. The property was every adventurous kid’s dream—dotted with vast fields, a small lake and a handful of farm animals.

It is where Tebow spent much of his childhood and where he and his tightknit siblings learned to play creatively. Pam Tebow remembers the children making miniature golf courses in the middle of cow pastures. “Things like that really cause you to grow closer,” she says. “You either have to get along or you have problems.”

But Tebow and his siblings did more than simply play on the land—they learned their parents’ core values, beginning with their faith in God. “We really wanted to pass on our value system to teach them about their heritage, not only as a family, but as Christians,” Pam Tebow says.

Bob Tebow, who continued his work with BTEA, often split his time between the Philippines and the U.S. When he was home, he taught his children—specifically the boys—to mend and build fences, help their neighbors and have a strong work ethic. And while the children learned from their father on their farm, they learned from their mother in the home.

Pam Tebow was deeply committed to homeschooling the five children. “One of the keys about homeschooling is that you have a chance to teach them about life,” she says. “It’s not all about academics.

“It’s about teaching them everything they need to know to be successful in life—about finances, avoiding wrong friends, not buying the new car because everybody else has a new car. The schools are not going to teach those things.”

The five Tebow children spent countless Sundays sitting in the pews of First Baptist Church of Jacksonville, a congregation Bob and Pam Tebow are still part of today. But when Tim Tebow was just 7 years old, he and his siblings began spending their summers visiting their family’s ministry among the mud-hut villages of Mindanao, a remote, largely unevangelized mountainous island in the Philippines.

“With an estimated 42,000 barangays [villages] in the Philippines, more than 64 percent of them do not have a single evangelical church,” Bob Tebow explains on BTEA’s Web site. “In a country of 87 million, the number of people who have never heard the gospel is staggering.”

Tebow befriended the villagers’ children, often playing football with them. But he also spent his days helping to feed children in the family’s orphanage, Uncle Dick’s Home. The orphanage took in its first child—an infant whose mother died during childbirth—in 1992. Today it is home to more than 50 children.

Faith—On and Off the Field

Back in the U.S., an athletic young Tebow had his eyes focused on his favorite sport, football. He watched as then-Florida quarterback Danny Wuerffel dominated UF’s football field; and when he was just 9 years old, Tebow rejoiced when Wuerffel won the Heisman Trophy. But he also watched Wuerffel off the field. And what he saw, he says, influenced his life greatly.

“He was someone who my parents kind of chose for me to look up to as a kid because he was good on the field, but more importantly he was great off the field,” says Tebow, who plastered his childhood bedroom walls with clippings about Wuerffel’s athletic accomplishments.

As a homeschooled child, he was eligible to compete in high school sporting events under Florida legislation enacted in 1996. Recognizing his potential, the family decided that Pam and Tim would leave the farm and move into an apartment in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida, so Tebow could play football for a local public school, Nease High School.

Tebow’s high school coach, Craig Howard, quickly took notice. “People can always lead with words but not always with their actions,” says Howard, former head football coach at Nease High School. “Timmy was the hardest worker I’ve ever been around. His work ethic was uncompromising, and all of those around him were affected by it.”

Howard witnessed a teen who infused his faith into everything he did. “He was always giving the glory to God,” Howard says, recalling the countless games that began and ended with prayer led by Tebow. “That was a part of the whole experience with coaching him.”

By his senior year, Tebow had become one of the top quarterback prospects in the nation, and recruiters were quickly lining up at his doorstep. After an intense recruiting battle between UF and the University of Alabama, Tebow opted for an orange and blue jersey and officially became a Florida Gator in 2006.

That year, as a freshman, Tebow helped lead the UF football team to win a national championship between back-to-back national basketball titles. Then in 2007, as the starting quarterback, he turned heads for his prowess on the field and was awarded a string of prestigious awards before winning college football’s most coveted award, the Heisman Trophy.

Tebow says his pulse raced last December as he sat alongside two other contending college quarterbacks and one running back in New York City’s Nokia Theater on a freezing December evening. Wuerffel, Tebow’s longtime hero, was also nervous. “I was pulling for him so much and was just thankful that he won and proud of the way he represents himself, his family, his school and his Savior,” Wuerffel says.

Coach Howard also was there. “I knew he was going to win. I just felt it,” says Howard, who currently coaches at Lake City Columbia High School in north Florida. “He’s always given the glory to God, the honor to God … even when he won the Heisman Trophy.”

The entire Tebow family was there as well. Tebow’s brother Robby, who directs the Jacksonville chapter of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA); his brother Peter, an Orlando-area engineer; and his sister Katie, a businesswoman and homemaker in Atlanta, were close by. But Tebow’s oldest sister, Christy, who is a missionary, had to catch a last-minute flight with her husband and daughter to be there.

“I was sitting in front of the stage, and my family and coaches were behind me,” Tebow says. “My sister and her family got to fly in … and it was awesome to have them there. “

After Tebow was awarded the Heisman, Wuerffel was the first to congratulate him, shaking his hand and giving him a hug. “That meant an awful lot to me,” Tebow says. “It took me a few seconds because of my emotions, and then I gave God credit first and accepted the award on behalf of my teammates. We think of it as a team award.” [Wow!]

His historic achievement of being the youngest player to win the trophy instantly made big news in the sports world. But for Tebow, the moment was not about him; the moment was about God. “Thank you,” he said at the time, clutching the 25-pound, bronzed statue in his massive hands. “I’d just like to first start off by thanking my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave me the ability to play football, and He gave me a great family and a support group and great coaches and everything around me.”

The win became a defining moment in Tebow’s life because as he accepted the award he also accepted the platform that came with it. “The Heisman really doesn’t change who a person is, but it changes the perception people have of you, and it opens doors for you to use your platform,” he says.

Tebow used that platform in mid-April to speak to a crowd of inmates at a Florida prison. His message was simple, yet bold: “No matter how bad your life has been, eternity can be great,” he told them. “It’s not how you start, fellas; it’s how you finish.” By the time he walked away, 95 inmates had given their lives to Christ.

Now in his junior year, Tebow is majoring in family, youth and community sciences. He hopes to play in the NFL one day and to follow in Wuerffel’s footsteps by becoming involved in ministry. He often speaks to groups of young men through FCA, challenging them in their faith, and he leads a weekly Bible study from his on-campus apartment.

“He challenges me because he has everything in the world at his fingertips, and he’s using his resources wisely to glorify God and to impact this world,” says UF senior Joey Reichardt, a lifelong Gator fan who has followed Tebow’s football career.

For Tebow, the awards are meaningful. But the focus remains on the prizes that truly matter the most. “I’m very competitive, and I want to win that championship, and I want to win the Heisman again, but it really doesn’t matter because I’m focused on eternity and winning more important prizes—winning rewards in heaven.”

Prayer Post #2

Posted in Prayer with tags , on January 16, 2009 by Bex

1. I am struggling to keep up with my financial commitments. Sometimes when I barely have enough to live on I want to be selfish and stop sponsoring my kid because I cannot really afford to. And then I think about how much this small amount of money is helping him survive each day, and how every little thing that he gets through it is an expression of God’s love and care for him, and I get angry at myself for spending more than S$3 per meal, sigh. Why is everything so expensive? I dare not even buy my textbooks!

Please pray that my money will come in soon! :(

2. As always, I need discipline. Even though I SEEM to have more free time this semester, there is just so much to read, especially for Shakespeare and Drama. At least ONE play a week is no joke at all. And now Hoca wants to give us quizzes every single week. In other words, I need to be serious with my work. And this crazy research project that I took on is just crazy, it’s going to ruin my Chinese New Year holidays and my birthday unfortunately. But that’s the price I have to pay for being stupid. I will never take it up again.

3. I also need peaceful rest. Classes end so late this semester all I can think of when I get home is sleep. This also explains why I never seem to find time to do any of my readings. And I’ve been having a very hard time getting sleep lately because my roommate has been snoring very loudly and her alarm keeps waking me up at strange hours and disrupting my sleep.

I am so tired I no longer have time to talk to people. I am so tired I no longer have the DESIRE to talk to people. I just want to sit alone in silence. It also makes me feel easily irritable when I come home and find that no one has bothered to throw the rubbish out or buy new toilet paper or wash their own dishes.

4. I have this struggle with my flesh – a struggle I don’t quite understand. Let’s just say I’ve been putting an extraordinary amount of pressure on myself to repeat what I achieved last semester – a feat I did not even think was possible for an arts student, much less a Lit one, and even more astoundingly so for someone who thought she was having her worst semester academically and only got one real A for her assignments. I KNOW that in the larger scheme of things it DOES NOT MATTER AT ALL, because a) I’m not interested in grad school, and b) I will probably be doing something entirely different when I graduate and c) I’m just stressing myself out unnecessarily when it is beyond my control.

But the strange thing is that I really don’t care about my grades, because I know that God will pull me through. It is when I DO succeed in getting grades that are beyond my expectations and natural ability, I start THINKING I can do more and become obsessed with doing more. So I keep pressing myself to achieve perfection, with my heart telling me I don’t need it and that even my parents don’t demand that much of me, but my head wanting to give myself this ridiculous challenge, just wanting perhaps to satisfy my pride or ego and prove to no one but myself that I can do it.

But I get terrified of myself when I am “good” or seen as good because I don’t want to start thinking that I did this on my own, and start puffing myself up with unhealthy lies about myself. I want to be able to still remember to always get down on my knees before every assignment or exam and just say, “I commit this into Your hands” and also “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.”

I fear that I may no longer be able to cope with failure, and that failure for me is really success for someone else. And this is ridiculous especially in light of the amount of effort I actually put into my work, and how apathetic I feel sometimes, so there is this huge struggle within me that is eating me up.

5. I need to learn to graciously accept the good things God wants to give me, and stop feeling guilty because I think someone else deserved it better.

6. Regarding that crazy project, I will have to pray and pray that I get a brilliant idea soon. Please pray for me as well! My professor keeps saying my ideas are interesting BUT too ambitious/restrictive/etc and he calls everything interesting and he’s too polite to catch you out when he knows you’ve read a book but you say you haven’t so yeah, I don’t know. This time I need a good idea fast because the poster is due on the 30th of January and there are so many stages to go through, I hope he’ll like my idea enough to approve it by next Wednesday and then I hope to miraculously finish my poster by Thursday to get it approved by him, and then I ALSO hope to settle it with the office and get approval from THEM [apparently this is the hardest, they always find fault with everything] on that Thursday itself so I will not have to worry about it during CNY since I will only be back in Singapore two days before the deadline and IF the office doesn’t approve it…

7. To be perfectly honest, even though my sister says it’s my dream and why wouldn’t God give me my dream, I do not think God wants me to go on exchange. I do not feel peaceful about it, and I just don’t see it happening. Also, I went for all the most competitive universities, so my chances of getting in are very low. Please pray that if it is not God’s will for me to go, that He will close all the doors and not let me think of what-if’s. I do not want to dream and dream some more, only to be disappointed later.

8. Lastly, lets continue to pray for the situation in Gaza.

How can I pray for you this week?

When I grow up…

Posted in Uncategorized on January 8, 2009 by Bex

…I want to have a heart like hers. And maybe her job too.

“I have always been sensitive. Always. I cry at simple commercials, I laugh easily, I am more likely to embrace rather then give a handshake. That’s just me. But I am never really ready for the shock of seeing somebody dying…every time I walk into a room when it’s happening, I never really get over it even though I have been practicing now for 2 years.

Nosakhe, one of our Community Care Workers told me she got a new “patient” this week and wanted me to meet her. She needed my help to assess the situation. She said she was very sick and suffering. She was right across the street. So we walked over and I was drawn to this woman. She was probably 35 or 40 years old with a few stray gray hairs mixed into her head of black. She was facing the wall as we entered the room and didn’t stir as we made our way in. I became immediately aware of the stench of her urine and body odor, even though I understood immediately she was the only one to be left alone in this huge room for quite sometime with two beds. I left the door wide open and forced open the window beyond the limits till it creaked. She stirred. She was incapable of speaking her aunt/mom/sister told me. So I got close to her ear and told her my name and that we were there to love her.

It must have been 100 degrees in there and she was naked but covered in 4 blankets that reeked of waste. I put my gloves on and started removing the layers. She was sweating and rolled her eyes towards me. I started praying in my head and removed all offensive jewelry so not to scratch her sensitive skin. My watch, rings…anything that could be abrasive on her sweet body. I knew I would be here for hours. The people in the house started watching and I asked for a bucket and all of the supplies. She was gritty and neglected. I asked a hundred questions. After I stripped the bedding I instructed that they needed to be washed and dried at least every week, I started showing them how to bathe her. I never stopped talking to the woman. My eyes never left hers. I told her how beautiful she was and that we both were going to get through this crazy.

I showed them how to clean her raw bed sores and how to dress her wounds. How long has she been in this condition? I then changed her adult diaper and for the first time in my life didn’t really know what I was made of. I walked the people in the room as well as myself through the process…as long as I kept talking I figured I wouldn’t pass out from the smell or from what I was seeing. Her whole back side as well as her delicates were covered in sores and swollen. How long has she been left to rot? I brought with me baby wipes and prayed that they were sensitive enough. She was full of puss and heartache. She was so brave. I still was talking to her and tried my hardest to keep my eyes on hers and not only on the task. I kept speaking to the other woman as they were the ones to clean her from this day forward…I was merely training.

So I tried to turn her and noticed one more sore and I could then see into her body and the tissue within. My stomach turned and I prayed once more. How long Lord? Please heal this woman. I told the ladies watching me that it was essential to clean this wound. I could hear the flies in my ears. I finished and then put the new diaper on. She weighed so little, we could have been using one designed for a child. The only reason I struggled was because she was tall, not because of weight…I assumed she weighed 60 at best. I changed gloves and gave further instruction to the woman watching my every move. I then used aloe to soothe her skin and spoke tender words to love and unlock her joints. I never broke eye contact. She started following me with her head and I was so gentle.

In my former life before mission work, I was a licensed massage therapist…but this was beyond all of my training there (draping, keeping the clients modesty…) but since she was already so exposed and nude, I just rubbed her down. I assumed she wasn’t being touched or cared for and by her response, I am fairly certain I was correct. Her ribs and naked breast all sucked to her body because her skin clinged tightly to her. She was so dehydrated. I was so careful and slow and worked my way, head to toe with the aloe…working between all the sores and ribs and places I thought she was hurting. She never dropped my gaze. I then put chap stick on her and she opened her eyes wide and I put more on.

Relief.

I stared telling the woman how we had to be careful as to not to overwhelm her and not to feed her too quickly as to damage her delicate stomach. I started with the water. She clearly couldn’t sit up…so I spoon fed her water. She was so thirsty. We stopped to let it settle and then I gave her more. We then gave her some watered down porridge and I told them that her body would most likely reject the nutrition and that we had to be super careful to feed her a little at a time at first so her body could adjust. I also instructed them to get her out of that room. She needs air, she needs people, she needs to live. We talked about being around people and how important it was to read or spend time with her. I was smitten by this woman because she is somebodies daughter, mom, sister, aunt and I loved her immediately.”

Five Loaves and Two Fishes

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on January 6, 2009 by Bex

Okay Lord, I hear You loud and clear.

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
no gift is too small.”

***

This story is one of the coolest. Often when my dad retells it I feel like he’s repackaging it just for me – because he always adds little details of his own to the story that include some of my favourite things [He ALWAYS says, "If you have a child you know you cannot leave the house without at least RM1 in your pocket because your child will always want to eat ice cream" and something about how the boy got free McDonald's Fish Fillet burgers for the rest of his life]. And as I was trying to write the story behind my results [it's too long and I get stuck half way and then I stop, because I want this to be a story that is inspired by the Holy Spirit, not through my own effort or anything like that. So I'll probably delete everything and wait till the right time when I have all the right words and they just FLOW out of me, and I know God is speaking to me through my own story], I was thinking, “Is it enough to just call this a miracle?”

It also makes me think of the story of David and Goliath, although I should find a better word than “story” because that word trivializes its purpose and effect and even the historical and theological value behind it. “Value” is also a bad word, but this will not be a post that attempts to…this is a post about what God has been saying to me.

A lot of times when I look at the people around me, I think “it’d be nice to be like David”, to have that kind of courage and PASSION to declare that the Lord who has delivered him from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver him from the hand of a Philistine. And on so many levels, I definitely CAN be like David – I make giants of too many things, but I fail to offer myself up to God in the way that David does.

And the problem with that, the MAIN difference between me and David, is that I never see myself through the eyes of God. I never see myself as deserving of victory in life, I often even feel ashamed when God hands me a victory, because of how little effort I myself put into it, and because I am always so afraid of how I would make other people feel with what I have achieved. I am afraid of the praise and attention that comes with it, because I’d rather NOT be noticed and liked by people. And I’m afraid of making other people feel small, because no one is small in God’s eyes.

One of the questions I’ve always asked God is, “How can I serve you without having to connect with people?” Maybe in some ways, it is also one of my fears, having seen all the things I’ve seen happen to church leaders and famous people. [But, as I keep telling Nic, lets stop fearing what the devil can do and believing in what GOD can and wants to do.]

Nic and I asked each other, “How can people who are filled with such great anointing and passion for God just go the wrong way?” Is it the fame, the attention, the expectation, the AUTHORITY that comes with being “special”? [Funny thing is, we all have access to the one who makes other people "special.]

What impresses me the most about this story is that it’s the humble, the NAMELESS, FACELESS people who have such an impact on Jesus’s ministry.

I really want to be one of those NAMELESS, FACELESS people. But even that requires an extraordinary confidence in God’s perception of who I am and what I have to offer.

But you know what, I think that in the past few days, God has made His case clear.

It does not matter if He makes me a David, or the little boy, or King Solomon. What matters is that I serve a living God. If I keep my eyes on Him – even if I keep my eyes OFF Him, really – He will never let go of me. If I let Him have my five loaves and two fishes, I can just sit back and watch Him do great things…and worry about the human side of it later.

God, You never fail to amaze me.

Thank you also for creating the person who invented TORI Q!

Standing in the Gap

Posted in Uncategorized on January 5, 2009 by Bex

This year, God has renewed His call for me to spend more time in His presence, but I am no longer content with the lazy quiet times I’ve had in the past. This year, I want to be serious with God and learn to do a few things I believe He has put on my heart.

One of the things I want to do is to stand in the gap for my nation and the world. But on a more personal level, I also want people to start seeing God work in their lives in a real and radical way. So, what I want you to do is list down any prayer requests you have every week so that I can pray for you. I will probably also list mine down whenever I can think of any, and I would be grateful if you could join me in praying for the burdens of my heart.

For this week, I want to pray that people will see God in and despite their sufferings. I want these people to see the God who gave up everything so that He could also partake in our sufferings, I want these people to see that God is an active God who loves them, whose heart breaks and bleeds over them, and who desires to comfort and heal them. I want them to see the truth in God’s promise that anyone who seeks Him with all their heart will find Him.

Also, I want to pray for my daddy as he ministers in Philippines. I want to pray that God will give him a message that will speak to the people’s hearts and draw them closer to the Father. And of course, also I want to pray that any weapon that is formed against him and my family over this period of time will not prosper; any spiritual attack that the devil conceives to try to destroy God’s plans will fail.

Have a good week!